


shattered green glass

by PROXYNEUR



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Chubby Thor (Marvel), I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, I'm Sorry, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:40:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22807228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PROXYNEUR/pseuds/PROXYNEUR
Summary: Thor reflects on some things and cries.
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	shattered green glass

**Author's Note:**

> Get your tissues and get ready to cry  
> (this is also my first fic on ao3 pls be forgiving ;0;)

Thor remembers that day.

The day where he'd officially lost everything left in his life.

The day...

Where he reminisces on eyes, resembling shattered, green glass. Hair, resembling black, spider silk webs, scattered across the ground. Skin, resembling lifeless porcelain.

The day where he wept and wept, after saying those last words.

To his brother, to his beloved, to the one he cherished the most.

And now... now he's gone, gone for good. Now he's truly, finally gone.

Thor sat in his living room, the TV flickering with imagery of a movie that his friends chose to watch, but left running in the midst of their running out of his house in a rush to attend to their own business.

He was back from travelling with the guardians, and while that was an adventure in itself, Thor still had things to attend to here, like friends, TV, and beer. So there he sat, still heavy-hearted as much as he was heavy set, as he drifted off into space, thinking, and pondering.

The beer in his hand was empty, and somehow felt just as heavy as his heart, as he pondered on what it felt like to have someone to go bother in the midst of his boredom. Like his mother, who'd been dead for several years, definitely one of the worst heartbreaks he'd felt in his life. Or his father, who died of old age, which was heartbreaking but fair, he was old, he was dying. Or his home, watching it go up in flames at the hand of his sister which he'd met only days beforehand.

Then.

Then there was his brother. The love of his life, his everything after he was convinced the storm had passed.

Only for the storm to come back and take everything he loved away from Thor.

Thor remembers his last words to his brother, and what his brother said to him, about how the sun would shine again.

And yet.

The sun was here, but not his brother.

Thor began to weep, absentmindedly, holding that heavy, empty beer, the tears shedding from shattered blue eyes onto a stained shirt, unless it got caught in his tangled beard. He remembered when they were small children, sitting in his mother's garden, making flower crowns for each other like innocent children do, except Thor mistook normal leaves for poisonous leaves, and ended up getting a fiery rash all over his hands and arms. He remembered Lo's laughter, giggling at the sight, only to run and get their mother to soothe Thor's rashy hands.

Thor remembers when they were adolescents, young, stubborn, getting in arguments over the smallest of things like whether or not Loki had actually stolen the grapes or if Sif or Fandral did. Thor remembers that vividly, the memories flashing in his mind.

He remembers little small details too, like family dinners, or when Loki and Thor would scramble and fight over the last bit of fruit, only for Volstagg or one of Thor's friends or one of Loki's would steal it from them, only to end in so much more squabbling.

Oh, how lonesome those memories felt to the poor alcoholic that sat in his chair, weary, heavy minded as he searches for another sip of bitter beer, with none to be found left in the bottle.

He also remembered vividly his first time, while drunken at the time. His first kiss, he gave away to some random woman he met in a bar in his adolescence, but his first night with someone.. that was with his little Lo.

They were drunk, Thor remembers, and they were fooling around and the memories are scattered yet so vivid in his mind.

How Thor became addicted to Loki's taste. Became addicted to the way the smooth skin felt under his calloused fingertips, about how those vibrant green eyes flashed his gaze with exhilaration and arousal and sensuality. Thor had become addicted to the taste of Loki's spent, the way he felt around him.

Norns, Thor could survive on Loki alone, as that became his drink, his nourishment, his delight. 

But more importantly, far more important in the deep darkness, the chasm that became Thor's mind as he mourned over the loss of his brother, was Loki's smile.

His eyes too, the way they crinkled around the edges whenever he smiled. That beautiful, dazzling smile that once made the blonde so joyous.. now lonesome, and sorrowful, to wish to see those beautiful eyes that resembled dark green glass and get rid of the shattered green glass that scattered about his mind, his memories.

Thor missed Loki.

And he wept.

Because no one could steal his heart quite like the raven.

And he wept more.

Because the brute who was now dead, took his brother away from him, took the love of his life away and everything else in between.

Thor needed Loki, as he sat on his couch, sniffling, weeping lonesomely in the now dimly lit room as the escaping sunlight seeped through the curtains.

The sun had come, but Loki never did.

...

"...Thor?"

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this as much I cried in my government class and my thesis class writing this piece.
> 
> Please feel free to give some feedback!! And I might make a book out of this, so just tell me if I should!
> 
> Thank you, blessed be!


End file.
